Depression

Ever have one of those days where you feel like a loser no matter what anyone says to you? Ever have a day where you hated your physical appearance so much that you don't even want to look in the mirror because all you see is a monster staring back at you? That's how I feel tonight. Do I know that others are probably sincere when they say that I'm not ugly? Usually. Does that stop me from hating myself? Sometimes. Do I know that I'm a good person? Yep. I sure do. But that doesn't mean that I don't forget it from time to time. The inner battle of depression and self loathing sometimes feels very scary and very lonely. I have mostly learned how to desk with these negative emotions but sometimes that evil nasty monster still rears its ugly head and I'm left feeling like people don't care or like they are just saying what I want to hear. I know I'm not alone in feeling like this and I know that it's hard to talk about. I know that many people don't talk about it and that it can lead to much bigger problems like self harm and even suicide. I wish there was an easy fix and I wish that there were more resources out there for people suffering from depression. I wish that there was quicker access to mental health professionals. The waiting list to see a professional in my area is right months. That's crazy! I'm glad that I don't have to be on the wait list but at the same time I can't help but worry about those who are. How many lives are going to end because they just can't wait anymore? I guess what I am saying is that if you are reading this and you feel alone and you feel like no one understands please know that I do. I understand how hard it is to cope with the monster that is depression. If you need to talk email me. If you need a friend I'm here. Please don't be afraid or ashamed to reach out. It's true. Sometimes we all need a helping hand.