6am musings

So today was date day with my husband. I LOVE spending time with him! He really is my best friend and knows me better than anyone else. As I've been looking on Facebook over the past few days I have realised how really truly lucky I am. I have a job that I love, a husband that I love and who loves me just as much. Sometimes life gets busy and exhausting and (I know it's hard to believe for those of you that know me well) I get grumpy and feel sorry for myself. I spend a lot of time during these times asking myself "why me? Why do I have diabetes? Why am I unable to have children but people who don't appreciate or want them and abuse them are able to have them? What did I do wrong? Why did my dad die from his heart attack but so many others don't die?" It's easy to fall into these cycles. It's easy to think my life is hard and that no one has the troubles that I do. Sometimes it takes something tiny to snap me out of my mood. Something simple like the girls that I look after giggling or giving me a hug or acting out some silly joke that we have made up. Sometimes it takes more. Sometimes my husband or mom or cousins or friends have to ask me what's up my ass and point out that I have it pretty damned great. It is currently 6 in the morning and as I listen to my husband snore while I write this, I'm envious of his ability to fall asleep quickly and stay that way. And as much as his snoring drives me Batshit crazy, if he wasn't here snoring I would physically feel the pain of missing it. So all in all even though things aren't always the way I might want them to be I have it pretty good. A snoring and loving husband is better then being alone and being lonely (for me anyhow:-). And now I'm going to try to sleep so that I don't fall asleep while getting my hair done in a few hours and dream of the life I love.